For six years I (Karen) have worked for a peer education abstinence organization that teaches teens in public and private schools the benefits of abstaining from drugs, alcohol, and sexual activity. I am often heartbroken to hear the personal stories of some of our peer educators who had engaged in sex while young teens. Young girls were often trying to hang onto a boyfriend, while young boys were trying to get their first experiences “out of the way” so they could have something to brag about to their male friends. Both groups learned the hard way that sexual intimacy is complex and that sex changes a relationship in a profound way. As one of my peer educators told me, “When I had sex for the first time I was surprised that it wasn’t at all like what I had seen on TV.”

She went on to share that she and her boyfriend had been best friends for years. Once they started having sex, the stress of wondering each month if she was pregnant began to wear on both of them. She also began to get jealous when her boyfriend talked to other girls. When they finally broke up, they discovered that they were uncomfortable talking to each other and couldn’t even muster a “hello” when they passed in the school hallways. This young lady, a Christian, was only fifteen at the time.

Yes, sex changes relationships. God’s gift of sexual intimacy was intended to be the bonding “glue” between a married man and woman. With the help of the media, our culture portrays sexual activity outside of marriage as the norm, and our children are inundated with thousands of sexual images on billboards, the Internet, movies, and television. Our enemy, Satan, has a vested interest in denigrating sexual intimacy. Think about the curse words most commonly used in our culture. Most are sexual references that degrade the holiness and blessing our heavenly Father intended sexual intimacy to bring to a marriage. Sex becomes forbidden and “dirty,” a curse rather than a blessing.

In the past few years, we have watched the “gay agenda” impact our public schools and the Christian church at large. At the same time we have become aware that there is a great deal of misinformation being disseminated on the topic of homosexuality. As a member of my public school’s “Health Advisory Board,” I fought the myth that ten percent of our population is gay. Census information and numerous other studies reveal only one to three percent of our population identify themselves as homosexual in orientation. Gay activists want homosexuality to be viewed and taught as normal, and to be a part of every public school sex education curriculum. McWhirter and Mattison, noted gay researchers, published a study in 1984 that looked at 165 “good” gay relationships. None were able to maintain sexual monogamy for more than five years.

How do we, as Christians, positively impact what the Church and public educational institutions teach regarding same-sex attractions while also reaching out with Christ’s love to a homosexual/lesbian? Scripture teaches that homosexuality is a deviation from God’s creation plan and design. The Word also teaches that God loves those who struggle in sin, and that He is able to deliver all who come to Him through Jesus Christ. It is wise to be mindful that our Jesus showed great compassion for people caught in sexual immorality; it was the religious hypocrites that he dealt with most harshly. Our own experience in working with those who struggle with issues of homosexuality or lesbianism is that they have suffered deep woundings that led to their embracement of a same-sex attraction. It is estimated that approximately one-third of those who struggle with same sex attractions have been sexually abused as children. Unresolved emotional and physical woundings can lead to homosexual orientation. We are mindful of Proverbs 27:7: “He who is full loathes honey, but to the hungry even what is bitter tastes sweet.”

As Christians, we are called to be salt and light to a dying world. The sin of homosexuality causes enslavement and ultimately loneliness, but our God is certainly able to deliver. Many have left the gay lifestyle after recommitting themselves to Jesus Christ. Too often, however, Christians are quick to condemn the sin of homosexuality without reaching out to the hurting individual enslaved in this false lifestyle. God exhorts us in Jeremiah 15:19: “... if you extract the precious from the worthless, you will become my spokesman” (NASB).

Part of the gay agenda is to promote the idea that there is scientific evidence that proves sexual orientation is genetically predetermined. Why would this be important? If your genes determine homosexuality, then your sexual orientation is determined when you are born. This removes personal accountability but, more importantly, makes God’s Word a mockery. After all, how could homosexuality be a sin if you are born that way? If God said that having freckles were a sin, how could you repent and change your skin type? You couldn’t. As history has shown, true science proves God’s Word. Clearly the “science” that promotes the lies of the Adversary is “junk science.” For instance, Simon LaVay, who describes himself as homosexual in orientation, was the author of one of these studies that purportedly established that sexual orientation is biological. What is not commonly known is that his study has not been able to be duplicated with the same results. M. Bailey, one of the most prominent researchers in the area of genetically determined sexual orientation, also admits that his studies result in inconsistent results. Homosexuality is not genetically predetermined, or God could not call it sin and ask people to stop it.

Great strides in helping people who have same-sex attractions have been made in psychotherapy and counseling. Joseph Nicolosi, Ph.D., a clinical psychologist, is the president of the National Association for Research and Therapy of Homosexuality. His practice is dedicated to the treatment of homosexuals who desire to change their orientation. He is the author of several books including Healing Homosexuality: Case Stories of Reparative Therapy. Dr. Nicolosi notes that, at its root, homosexuality is not a sexual problem – it is a gender-identity problem. Normal stages of emotional development have been interrupted, and this can lead to same sex bonding in order to attain affirmation. These relationships tend to implode, leaving the homosexual hurt and confused.

Furthermore, Nicolosi states that there is no such thing as a homosexual, but only heterosexuals that have a homosexual problem. This may sound like splitting hairs, but it actually opens the door for the dissatisfied homosexual oriented person to change, because such people can begin viewing themselves as fundamentally heterosexual. This approach has had a great deal of success. If one understands that the problem is one of gender-identity, then treatment is possible. And yes, even prevention. If you would like more information about Dr. Nicolosi’s work, check his website at www.narth.com. He is also one of the featured speakers at the Focus on the Family workshops on homosexuality called “Love Won Out,” which are about addressing, understanding, and preventing homosexuality. The workshop is filled with personal testimonies by those who successfully left the homosexual lifestyle, as well as helpful information on countering the gay agenda in your communities and schools. We highly recommend this conference for every pastor and youth director. For more information, see www.lovewonout.com.

Spirit & Truth Fellowship published the following item in the July/August 2002 issue of The Contender, and I thought it was worth reprinting:

A recent study now provides scientific evidence that “some gays can go straight if they really want to.” The Associated Press reported that Dr. Robert L. Spitzer, a psychiatry professor at Columbia University, released study results indicating that “a percentage of highly motivated gay people can change their sexual orientation.”

“The research shows some people can change from gay to straight, and we ought to acknowledge that,” said Spitzer May 9 in New Orleans at a meeting of the American Psychiatric Association (APA). He also plans to submit his work to a psychiatric journal for publication.

It was Spitzer who spearheaded the APA's 1973 decision to remove homosexuality from its list of mental disorders. At the time, he said homosexuality does not meet the criteria for a mental disorder, and he called for more research to determine whether some people can change their sexuality.

We wonder, now that he has evidence that gays can go straight, if they are motivated to do so, will he recommend relisting homosexuality as a mental “disorder”?

If you like what we are doing and you would like to help us continue to spread the Gospel all over the globe, please consider sowing into our ministry.